Saturday, January 17, 2009

Deposit #1 - Value TBD

It's amazing to me how the 2nd Trimester of a pregnancy can feel like the oasis in the middle of a desert. After spending the first 16 weeks or so just trying to maintain some sort of acceptable living standard, I feel live I've been given a fresh start. I can clean again, plan again, cook again, socialize again.

With the new year I find myself renewed to do many things. For the first time, maybe ever, the start of the new year brought about a desire for growth, change and impact. With these new desires came an awareness of the need to acknowledge where the ability to do all of this comes from. I spent the past 6 months or so facing an unwillingness to go any further in my journey with God. I was afraid of what might be next and wanted things to just exist as they way, well pretty much forever.

I believe God continues to pursue us even when we're not pursuing him and as result this new year spurred on a desire to take the risk and go further. I'll write about the specifics of this moving forward later... but what I've learned so far is that pursuing God can be very safe. He's not afraid of my questions or even my fears... but rather lovingly reaches out to help me keep moving.

I'm hopefully and excited. Ready for what's next. Which doesn't mean there's no fear, but it does mean that I'm continually understanding what it means to trust in a God who loves me and who's not afraid of anything.